CRASH BURNS THE FIELD IN EPIC WIN!
After taunting most of the field throughout the race, Chuck "Crash" Endreszl pulls away at the end to take an easy win in Indianapolis. We caught up with Chuck in victory lane to talk about his view of the race: "Yeah I wasn't really sure how it was going to work out there a few times... I was definitely feeling the heat, or maybe it was the burning gaze from the other 6 guys at the table? Either way, I was sweating every dice roll like there was real money in play..." (ROFL officials quickly reminded Chuck of the Fabulous Prizes at stake, evoking a stare of disbelief; more on this next time) Chuck's Team Crash-N-Burn cohort, Bob "Burnin" Eickholt, had a less successful day, bringing home his SuperMod 69 Camaro in one piece as the last car running, in 6th place. "That was a good run, I guess... the damn dice still hate me though... for a while I just felt like running the car into a wall but after those other guys had trouble I figured - Heck, I can pass a wrecked car... right?" Look for Bob starting 3rd at our next track...
Second place was claimed by Jake "5-Time" Billcheck of Team Wacky Waving Inflatable Flailing Arm Tube Men (WWIFATM), who was neck and neck with Chuck for most of the last lap. "I thought I had him, to be honest," said Jake after the race. "he was sweating over every dice roll like a whore in church, and I felt sure it was a matter of time before he blew one. Our new Fisker Karma was fast, but then he rolled the damn 20... Bah." With a disgusted shake of his head, Jake concluded the interview and headed back to his team garage to check on the health of his partner, Adam "The Plague Bearer" Capps. It was Capps who finished last, after crashing out in a bizarre sequence of events on lap 3... capping off an entirely forgettable race for the big fella. "I felt like ... in a haze out there... like, I wasn't.... really all there.... surreal, I guess." and with that, Adam turned white, slumped back in his Barco-Lounger, and fell asleep.
Coming in third, again, was Jon "Teamkiller" Brudnak. As part of the bizarre incident that claimed Capps, it was Brudnak running up on the back of his partner Matt "Hammered" Hampton that sent his own teammate into the stands! We reached him as he climbed out of his car after the race: "First, I want to say, I am so so sorry for Matt, his sponsors, his fans, and all of our Team Monkeywrench crew members that build us great cars. And his hair stylist... pretty sure I saw scorch marks on his helmet. I was so focused on running down Endreszl, I got careless and it cost him a race. But at least Capps went first, right?" He was of course referring to the fact that even as he was punting his own partner off the track, Capps ran into the back of Brudnak, wrecking HIS car as well! This left Capps in 8th, and a disappointed Hampton in 7th - "Yeah well.... I don't know WHAT he was thinking exactly.... I mean, I get it, we're all out here racing for the win, but dang...." brushing some singed hairs from his neckline, he continued "I guess we'll have a talk in the hauler about this and move on... hopefully next race he runs me a little more careful."
Careful readers will have of course deduced that out our team roundup finishes again this race with another 4-5 result, this time for Team Odd-Job - as Dave "Phone Call" Schumm and Jason "Juh-Bah" Boes claimed the 4-5 finishing spots. "I felt fortunate to finish 4th today, to be honest" Dave said from the pits, as he autographed Verizon's new Razor XXV phones for adoring fans. "I mean, I expected it to be tough starting last, and then in the middle of the race I felt really out of it... towards the end though, I just didn't have anything for the guys up front, they ran away with this." For Boes, it was a better result, and another learning experience - "I just felt like, I was missing those turns by just a little bit... just enough to screw me. I got kind of mad there a started slamming my head on the steering wheel. Crew said I bent it pretty good. Anyways, I am starting to get the hang of this - watch out for me next race!"
Individual Standings after 2 Races:
Schumm - 23
Brudnak - 20
Billcheck - 18
Endreszl - 17
Hampton - 14
Boes - 10
Capps - 9
Eickholt - 5
Team Standings after Race 2:
Team Monkeywrench - 34
Team Odd-Job - 33
Team WWIFATM - 27
Team Crash-n-Burn - 22
NEXT RACE: BARCELONA! ENGINES! WEATHER!
BARCELONA - Next up is the fast-paced track in Spain - Barcelona! This race always seems to simulate with lots of body damage taking place, and only a few brief 6th gear options... consider your car design carefully!
ENGINE PUSH - Sometimes, you need just ONE MORE SPACE to get where you want to be... and if you're willing to shorten the useful life of your motor - you can have it! Once per turn, you may spend ONE engine point, and move ONE extra space. All other associated penalties must be paid on this extra space; if its used to overshoot, you must pay tire penalties. If you use it to gain a slipstream, and slip into the corner you must still pay a brake point.
WEATHER – Tracks are located all over the world, and in all kinds of climates. From track to track, the weather could be a major factor. Each track has a range assigned to each of the three weather types – Rain, Changeable, and Sunshine. You may wait until weather is determined to allocate your car-build points. Keep in mind, in the rain a collision occurs on a d20 roll of 1 -or- 2... Engine damage for a 20 or 30 roll is reduced from 1-4, to 1-3...
THE START OF THE RACE – A die roll is made prior to the start. The driver on the pole position rolls the D20 and again looks at the table for the track. The affect of the roll is as follows:
Sunshine = Sunny throughout the entire race.
Rain = Raining throughout the entire race.
Changeable = At the start of the race, the weather is sunny. The sky is overcast, but not raining yet. The weather must be checked during the race to see if it changes. A weather check is made each time a driver in 5th gear rolls a 20 or a driver in 6th rolls a 30. The driver who rolled that, rolls the D20 to see if the weather has changed again:
- If the weather roll is CHANGEABLE, ignore the result and wait until the next weather check.
- If the weather roll is Sunshine, then it is only TEMPORARY SUNSHINE, lasting until the next weather check.
- If the weather roll is Rain, then it is only TEMPORARY RAIN, lasting until the next weather check.
- If the weather result is changeable after temporary Rain or Sun, it goes back to Overcast, until the next weather check.
- If the result is RAIN or SUN twice in a row, then the weather is finally settled and stays the same for the rest of the race.
- If the result after TEMPORARY SUN is RAIN, then it goes to TEMPORARY RAIN – and vice versa.
RAIN TIRES: Naturally with Rain, you have the option of using Rain Tires.
Wet Tires – Specially grooved to handle water on the road, these tires work well in the rain, but are a slight handicap in the dry.
Sunshine – Movement as normal, but penalties for overshooting are multiplied by 2. If no tire change is made during the 3rd lap, penalties are multiplied by 3.
Changeable – Identical to Sunshine
Rain – The car skids only one extra space on each of its moves inside a corner. The penalties for overshooting a corner are normal. (1 point per 1 space of overshoot)
FINAL NOTE: With race #4 we will add the final element to the game - Road Hazards and Suspension points...
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