The "Up With Meeples" Awards: 2011

I'll just tell you guys that this has been one rough year. Most of my family and friends can suck it, and I'm ready to get shitfaced, pass out face-first in a bowl of M&Ms, and put a bow on this turd of a year. For me, perhaps the worst indication of how turdish this year really was, is that my board gaming suffered. Sometimes, I went weeks--weeks, people!--without even looking at a board game. I can't remember the last time I sold or traded a board game, and our closet is full of shrink-wrapped dust collectors. Le sigh.

So I am proposing right now that we all give 2011 the finger in one final hell of a sendoff tonight, and then get ready for the pure joy that will be 2012--up with board games! Down with poor losers, tantrums, family in general, and anything that doesn't make me shake my ass in victory celebration. Up with meeples! (Hey, wait...that's an awesome blog name. All rights reserved! All rights reserved!) Down with Cranium and anything with a Hasbro stamp!

To help with the big 2011 sendoff, let's chuck some awards at some games that made my excremental year slightly less awful. Hey if the entertainment industry can throw itself awards banquets and galas all year 'round, why can't I? This is the first year for my awards, so maybe if I can stay focused I'll bring it back next year...and hopefully in a slightly more cheerful mood. Maybe Billy Crystal will host. Either way, let's hope Courtney Love shows up and falls off some scaffolding.

Before we begin, let me just adjust my tiara and gown. Cocktail? Check. Mocked up picture of what I look like while typing up these awards?

Check.

Now, without further ado, here are the 2011 (Let's Never Have Another Year Like This) Up With Meeples Awards!


Katie's Top Board Game of the Year
Presented for excellence in gameplay, fun, challenge, and great memories in the past year

Twilight Struggle

For its role in husband-wife rivalry, and promoting both communism jokes, and shoe-banging gags

 Most Surprisingly Great Board Game of the Year
Presented for surprising excellence in gameplay and challenge from a game or situation that was totally unexpected

Glory to Rome

For its role as the ugliest packaging concept ever, hiding a brilliant little card game

Katie's Even-Though-I-Hate-Kids-Games-This-One's-Actually-Fun-For-Adults-Too Award

Presented for excellence in adult captivation while entertaining kids at the same time

Hey! That's My Fish!
For its role as Lily's after-dinner game that doesn't make me throw up my Hamburger Helper

 

Worst Reminder of How Bad Board Game Expansions Can Be

Presented for convincing gamers that it's worth just one more try

Seafarers of Catan

For its role as just a shitty expansion in a sea of shitty expansions. Not worthy of picture.

Best Dice Game of the Year

Presented for excellence in making games full of chance enjoyable

To Court the King

For its role as an understated, beautiful game with a fun dice mechanic 

Best Actor in Any Show or Movie Anywhere

Presented for excellence in acting and portrayal of one of the greatest literary characters of all time

Peter Dinklage

For his role as Tyrion Lannister in Game of Thrones 

Best Play-Testing Experience of the Year

Presented for excellence in play testing. Duh.

Alien Frontiers

For its role among a handful of games I play-tested this year, as the most enjoyable and unbroken among its rivals  

Best Expansion of the Year

Presented for excellence in expansions that Katie tried this year. I don't care if they're not new. These awards are all about me, get it?

Ticket to Ride: Nordic Countries

For its role as a stand-alone expansion of sorts (debate has ensued about the status of expansion vs. sequel) and for its outrageously crowded map.   

Best Party Game of the Year

Presented for excellence in rowdy shenanigans

Telestrations

For its role inciting penis drawings and one of the scariest "porno" drawings I've ever seen or imagined. 

Best Game You've Never Heard Of

Presented for excellence in gameplay goodness without the backing of a publisher

Quintessential: The Fifth Element

For its role as a frustratingly wonderful dice game with a high-production-value prototype. Dice box anyone?

And that concludes our ceremonies for this year! Mainly because I need to go change out of this designer gown, put on some of my gross clothing, and slog myself to a New Years party where I intend to carry out my threats as described at the beginning of this article. Thank you for attending this year's Up With Meeples Awards.

Here's wishing you all a happy 2012!