Creepiest Kids Board Game Ever? Voodoo

Don't make fun, but I like to go antiquing. Not only is it like stepping back in time, but you can find some really amazing pieces of home decor, clothing, and even board games. Plus (bonus!) most antique dealers don't know the value of board games whatsoever. Most would probably charge more for a Dukes of Hazard game than they would for a copy of Big Boggle. Suckers. So you can either make big, fat cash for games you find, or you can pick up some playable treasures on the cheap. Win-win.

But on Friday, at an antique store in Livonia, the Greatest Husband in the World found a board game treasure worth more than mere currency. It HAS to be the reigning champion for the creepiest damn kids game ever made. Seriously.

Gamers, meet Voodoo. The game where you poke pins into a voodoo doll until you anger the witch doctor and he comes after you.

The game was published in 1967, at the height of American cultural sensitivity and an era of compassionate nurturing of our youth. </sarcasm> Now there are a couple of things that really strike me as both terrifying and delightful about this game:

1. The marketing. It's really marketed heavily to kids, in that the box actually reads "Voodoo Doll Game for boys and girls". See? They even print it on the plastic game board. As if the clarification was really needed.

2. The box art. This had to give a lot of kids nightmares. The cartoon voodoo doll on the cover--the one with the fangs, black finger nails, red eyes (and a lovely pearl necklace)--is compelling you to stab her with large pins. And those have to be the BIGGEST, scariest damn pins I've ever seen, since they're apparently as big as a bongo drum or a small witch doctor.

Side note: Does anyone else remember Halloween III: Season of the Witch when that company tries to sell Halloween masks that will hypnotize and then murder all the little kids in the world on Halloween? I keep getting that feeling about this game. I played it once today, and now tomorrow morning I'm worried I'm going to wake up and find my husband punctured with dozens of knitting needles in the bed beside me. My hands will be covered in blood, but I won't remember what happened. It's all black.

3. They set you up to scare the living crap out of your playmates. During game set-up, you have to activate the mechanism that makes the witch doctor pop out of his hut by secretly placing tiny metal pins into the holes of the doll device (helloooooo, choking hazards!). Each opponent takes turns doing this in secret, away from the prying eyes of her friends. Then blammo, you're responsible for giving the other little kiddies a heart attack when they punch your landmine.

4. The witch doctor makes me shit my pants. Okay, not really. But close. Too close. So you play this game by taking a bunch of plastic pins and poking them into the plastic molding of a voo doo doll girl (the one with the fangs). If you poke her in the wrong place (dirty!), the witch doctor comes popping out of his hut (presumably to eat your vital organs, starting with your eyeballs). And that witch doctor is SCARY. He comes flying out with such a large POP! that I jump every time.

Then again, I'm the person whose nerves are too tender to play Operation. So maybe don't take my word for it.

So why did I buy this game? Well, first, it was only $5.00. The box is there, and the mechanism still functions perfectly. But also, how cool is it that this game was made to frighten children in such a gruesome way? They NEVER would make this game today. The whole premise is to get kids good and creeped out, force them to play voodoo priestess, poke a doll with play needles, and then POP! Surprise, you lose. It's a horror movie experience, all wrapped up in a clever simple little board game. Wicked awesome in a box.

I've already played it enough times to make myself giggle, and to chase my husband around with the box lid yelling that it's going to eat him. So I'll be putting this for sale over at BGG, in case anyone's interested in a little piece of frightening Americana. I highly recommend it for a dark and stormy night!