Zooloretto Has Landed!

Psssh Ground control, Zooloretto has landed. Over. Psssh

After almost one year of finagling and wishing and hoping, our copy of Zooloretto finally arrived this afternoon. It's like Christmas morning around here. More updates to follow.

Hasbro Goes Euro with Hex-Based U-Build: Monopoly

I opened up my coupon fliers this morning to see that Monopoly has decided to rip off take a page from the Settlers of Catan folks, and has issued a line of games that involves building your own game board using hex tiles. Could this mean that Euro games are finally starting to make a dent in Hasbro? Well we can see that games like Settlers have at least caught Hasbro's attention.

Here's what it looks like (and yes, I will likely be using my $4 off coupon from this week's Sunday circular to pick up a copy of my own): The Monopoly properties, which have been renamed for this "U-Build" version, are now positioned on plastic-framed hexes that connect to form a board path. The game also comes with plastic 3-D stadiums, parks, and skyscrapers that can be built on the hexes. Word is that otherwise the game is very similar to the original.

It's not just Monopoly that got a U-Build makeover though, there's also a U-Build: Connect 4, U-Build: Battleship, and U-Build: Mousetrap. These opt for slightly different variations. U-Build: Connect Four, for example, uses children's building construction set bits to create a pinball-like course for the checkers to drop down through. Think of it as if Connect Four and Erector Set got together and decided to play Plinko from The Price is Right. Mousetrap and Battleship are a bit less exciting. Mousetrap actually has bricks (read: Legos) to customize board obstacles, but Battleship just lets you slightly customize your boats with "U-Build bricks" (again, Legos).


My Impressions:

I'll admit that normally I'm very pessimistic about any Hasbro games, since I think that they cater to the lowest common denominator of the stupidest people on the planet. Sure, I love Clue and even a bit of Monopoly now and then, but that's mainly because they were created and developed back when board games were still for adults (Parker Brothers knew what it was doing). Since Hasbro has come along and kiddy-fied their entire board game market (just look at their modern silly childlike logo), it's hard to respect any of their games. They've moved to the cheapest possible components, and have dumbed down even the classics (did Monopoly really need an electronic banking version? If you can't add $200 + $500, then you don't get to play Monopoly!)

And it looks like their giant idiot stick has smacked these games once again. Although I applaud delving into the Euro waters with some hex play, the giant plastic frames around the hexes with attachment tabs and slots make it look like its Duplo Monopoly for toddlers 2-3 years old.

At least U-Build: Monopoly has reasonable cover art going on though. Take a look at some of the cover art for the other U-Build titles. Yikes. Bad paintings of kids having waaaay too much fun playing games. It's cheesy, cheap, and a little demeaning. I've never understood the marketing principle that board games need to show people enjoying them. To me, it's like a laugh track on a sitcom. Give us some decent cover art and let us decide if it's fun and worth raising our arms in the air!

Poor U-Build: Battleship looks like it got the worst makeover of all. I haven't kept current on Battleship editions, but this incarnation looks the cheapest and like it's trying the hardest to ruin the game. Do people really need a cardboard pretend command center? I hate that they've moved the attack board to a separate side board.

And, by the way, I think it's quite unfortunate that this line of games chose to go with the text message-friendly "U-Build" name. It's just another sign that their games shouldn't be taken seriously. It's too bad the average American has no idea what a hexagon is, or they could've called it Hex Monopoly and made me happy.

With all that said though, I will post pictures once my Build-Your-Own Monopoly set is up and running in all its hex glory.

Gaming News Alert: Netflix for Board Games!

There is some exciting, hottt news for us serial board gamers: A brand-new board game rental service, called Board Game eXchange just launched today! That means we can now all test out board games in the privacy of our own home and then send them back when they stink when we've had our fun. Netflix for board gamers!

Here are some of the juicy details:

• The service has hundreds of games to choose from
• You can add five items to your queue 
• You can rent one game at a time and up to two games per month
• There are no due dates, no late fees
• There's a prepaid mailer to return the game when you're ready
• (Here's the wicked awesome part) If you LOVE the game and decide to keep it, YOU CAN! You can purchase it at a "Members' Preferred Price".

The cost ranges from $27 a month to $33.50 a month, depending on which package you go with. That's not cheap, but can be an awesome deal especially if you're maybe kinda interested in the pricier like Antiquity, Java, or  Descent. Of course, I think the thing that impresses me most is the shipping. It's amazing that this company can make it work with the shipping costs, but it turns out their way around this is to NOT ship the game box. If you end up buying the game you rent, they'll ship the game box separately. Interesting. I wonder if this will impact my game experience, since there is something romantic about opening up the box and ogling the artwork and organization. Or maybe it will be completely not a big deal. Totally understandable why they chose to go this route to save money on shipping costs, of course.

Kudos to this company though, since they do allow you to rent a game and one expansion at the same time (it's an exception to the one-at-a-time rule). True, it counts toward both of your rentals for the month, but it's nice to be able to see an original game and expansion in action at the same time.


Here's a link if you'd like to go check them out for yourselves: Board Game eXchange. I wish them all the luck in the world.

Wendy's Kids Meals: Now With Board Games!

Did I need one more reason to love Wendy's? I guess those junior back cheeseburgers (word to the JBCs!), scrumptious chicken apple salads, frosties, and healthy kids meals weren't enough, eh? Now they have to make me fall in love with them all over again by including...you guessed it...BOARD GAMES in their kids meals.

I'm so proud I think I'm tearing up.

So it looks like, for the time-being, Wendy's is working with Patch games to release a series of little games in every little baggy of chicken nuggets, chocolate milk, and orange slices. What's really impressive though, isn't just that there is a game instead of a useless toy inside, but the production value seems pretty high. These games come in well-made mini cardboard boxes with lift-off lids, just like the real deal big boys. And inside each box is a series of cards and a red decoder strip to read scrambled trivia answers. The games being offered are Know It or Blow It, Perfect Sense, Buzzword Junior, Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?, and Now What?.

True, none of these itty bitty games are Settlers of Catan...but I really appreciate that kids are getting their hands on games, lifting the dainty little box lids, and experiencing the fun of interacting with friends and family...and then soundly trouncing them and feeling like little gods of victory.

And if I must, I will do my part to support board game appreciation through this land, even if it means eating JBCs every day for the next month!

Happy Birthday to Me!

I can't think of a better way to say "Happy 30th Birthday!" than with some board game lovin'. This is what the husband got me for my birthday. Metropolys!

We first played this game at a local gaming convention called Michicon, and loved it. I'll have to write a full review about it somewhere down the road, but essentially players try to outbid eachother for real estate areas on the board. The best part is that this may be the only game I know of that has a bidding system that works well for two players. Hooray.

What a great way to turn 30.

Game: Metropolys
Creator: Sebastien Pauchon
Publisher: Rio Grande Games and Ystari Games

Game Review: Innovation

I sadly don't have official "unboxing" photos of the new game, "Innovation" (Carl Chudyk, Asmadi Games), since I picked it up at 2010 Origins and there was a hasty unboxing during the shuttle ride back to the hotel one night. Since that time the box has been collecting dust in our game closet (with no disrespect meant to the game--it's just so many games, so little time!). But we finally broke it out just a few days ago, and here's what I thought!

First Impressions
This is a simple card game that looks very portable. The box is oddly large considering that the game is entirely one large deck of cards (UPDATE: Newer versions of the game have a more svelt box!). The rule book and action reminder cheat-sheet cards take up a little wider space, but being flat, this is one odd packaging concept. (Note to self: Sew an awesome and portable felt drawstring travel bag for Innovation game deck.)

Set-Up
First, players set out ten stacks of "Ages" cards that represent the evolution of man--1 is Prehistory and it goes up to 10 as the Information Age. For what we can only assume is aesthetic reasons, the game rules have players set up these ten stacks in a circular pattern, with a spread of "Achievement" cards in the center. When tabletop space is limited, we'll probably just spread these out wherever there's space in an untidy row. Same diff. Then each of the players gets two cards from the Age 1 pile, and the game is ready to begin.

The Gameplay
So here's what you do: On your turn, you choose 2 actions to take from a list of 4 types:
option #1 - Meld (lay down a card)
option #2 - Draw
option #3 -Achieve (buy a victory point)
option #4 - Dogma (use a melded card's action)

Drawing cards from the game piles gives you more interesting possible actions to "dogma" later, and you can't draw without taking this action, so the typical sequence to follow throughout chains of turns is Draw-Meld-Dogma. Draw-Meld-Dogma. Draw-Meld-Dogma. (Still waiting for that first "Achieve" moment!)

The whole goal is to earn "Achievements", which are the equivalent of victory points. Us two-player peeps need 6 achievements, which by the way, can take an ass-long time to earn. I can't decide yet if that makes this a richly deep card game, or just boring. But anyway, you earn these Achievements by scoring points that act as currency, and playing your action cards--which are accumulated in color-coded piles in your giant-ass sprawling personal gameplay area (two players playing this game will barely fit on a coffee table)--to screw over your opponent(s) or advance yourself into new Ages (read: start collecting better action cards). Yes, there's a lot going on here. Again, turns will be spent not only collecting and playing cards, but also trying to play actions that either disrupt your opponent, earn you points, or maybe help you reorganize your current piles of playable cards.

The Review
Innovation is, if nothing else, an intriguing game. There are so many different action cards--and, really, "dogma-ing" (to use the new gaming verb husband and I coined) is the bulk of the gameplay--that every game is a bit different, exciting, and potentially mind-boggling. In this sense, it reminds me of the stupidly splendid game, We Didn't Playtest This At All. Anything can happen, and people can win in the blink of an eye, or the whole game can snap around with one crazy action. There's also a lot of excellent opponent bashing that can happen here, giving us a flicker of rowdiness. And all this comes from a simple deck of cards. Nifty! And portable!

That's the really good news. The bad news? It's a bit dry. A fresh spread of clever artwork on the cards, or a little injection of humor could have breathed easy life into a game whose mechanics are all tidily in place. Plus, if you're sitting down for a game, be sure to have plenty of table space in front of you, and tell grandma to put on her reading glasses, because you'll be pouring over lots and lots of text in this game. This isn't a terrible thing at all, but is not for someone who's already fatigued or impatient.
Those paltry criticism aside though, there's something that's just off-beat enough about the different card actions, and the opponent rivalry can be just brutal enough that's it's got me hooked for at least a few more plays. And if the gameplay starts flowing more smoothly (right now it's like gloppy spoiled milk chunking out of a carton because we're a little slow on the reading and light on the focus), this might be a permanent keeper and a nice way to mix up game nights. Different is good, even if it's a bit scary at first. For that reason, this game gets an affectionately high and hopeful grade.
B+

Apples to Apples Saves the Day!

Hey there, friends. Are you having guests over tonight and don't know how to entertain them? Are you listless and bored? Do you poop out at parties? Well, if so, folks, have I got a solution for yooooou! Introducing the handy-dandy party saver in a box....it's APPLES TO APPLES!

Yeah, sorry. I thought I kind of had to sell it like that because I feel that kind of cheesy pulling out such a pedestrian party game, and that's what I did when some friends came over this past Saturday night. They're great people--another married couple our age (who have deliciously warped minds) and their teenage ward (long story). Just the five of us. And even with the wine flowing the conversation well dried up within the first 45 minutes. That's when I got desperate. Gilmore Girls fans out there know it was nearly Bop-It time, so I pulled out the Apples to Apples.

And let me tell ya, that game can save any party. So I'm going to give it its full due here for the thin slice of brilliance it really is. First of all, allow me to praise how simple it is to explain. When the teenage girl tried to "sit out" the first game so she could text on her phone, I had slurred out the rules faster than she could object to me shoving her into a chair. "There's a judge who reads a descriptive word, the other people toss out a card from their hands with a word that fits the description. The judge picks which card is the best, and that person wins a point. First person to seven wins." Boom. Game explained. (Take that, Puerto Rico!)

It's not just the simplicity that is attractive either--the game gets people laughing and bickering and brings out the best in a room full of casual drinkers. My favorite part of the evening (aside from when the husband pulled fresh-baked cookies out of the oven for mid-game munching) was when massive finger pointing followed a rash call that had something to do with: "Com'ON--vampires are NOT juicy! Yeah, the blood they suck might be juicy, but Alexander Skarsgard's intense sexual appeal aside, there is no frickin' way that vampires are juicy inside!....And are we out of the riesling already?!"

Yeah, the game gave us something to talk and laugh about, to break bread over, and to keep us up well into the wee hours of the morning. And I realized that Apples to Apples has never let me down. I've never met anyone who didn't enjoy playing it at least a little. If anyone out there has seen this magic party game fail, I'd love to hear how it happened and what went down. But without further proof, I'll just have to assume that this game is positively magical...and might just be worth picking up a new set where the cards won't be sticky with chocolate chips and wine.